Background: This is told through
the boy’s perspective, which takes place years after he left his family in
Samoa.
What and if- two simple words yet
they have the power to haunt you for the rest of you entire life. What if? They
are just two words that will make you want to tear down the wall of past and
wish you didn’t put the smaller brick under a much bigger brick. It’s funny how
sometimes in life, you think about the things that could or might have been if
you didn’t do this and did that instead.
Like, what if she didn’t abort
the child? We could have been blessed with a beautiful half-caste. I wonder, if
it had been a girl, what she would look like. She would have been the complete
replica of her beautiful mother; eyes so green and natural, hair so soft and
silky, shoulders broad and firm. It wouldn’t matter if she had a fair or dark
skin because she would be my daughter and probably the most beautiful girl my
heart could ever see. What if her mother didn’t go through the abortion? She could
have been like those little girls I see strolling in the park every afternoon. But
what if it had been a boy? Well, I would raise him like a strapping young lad.
I’d teach him how to play rugby and let him play at school.
But I guess it all comes down to
me and our decision to move to New Zealand. What if I stayed in Samoa all these
years? I would probably be still living in our village and helping out my
family. I would probably still feel the same way about Samoa. She and I would
never have met each other and I wouldn’t be in this situation right now. But
then I think to myself again. What if I stayed in Samoa? I wouldn’t have had
the chance to go to a better school. I wouldn’t have been able to gain myself a
BA in History, or learned English. If only I knew then what I knew now, my life
could have been a lot merrier. They say,
“Always look on the brighter side.” But I don’t know which side is brighter
anymore because the bright side is also the dark side.
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